Congratulations! You’re ready to take a big step in your life: marriage! You began dating your Sagittarius man, and whether or not the relationship is serious yet, you’re committed to him, and the two of you are talking about tying the knot. Congrats!
If you’re with a Sagittarius man, chances are you’re ambitious. Strong, competent women attract Sagittarius men like bees to beautiful flowers. You have goals that you’re working toward, and so does he. It’s great that you are such a good match and have so much in common. Before you agree to be a team for the foreseeable future, stop and make sure that you are on the same team, and that you’re working together. You want a partner who is going to help you achieve your goals, while you help him achieve his goals, while you work together to achieve your joint goals.
Obviously, you already believe that you do have compatible goals, or you wouldn’t be together. However, in the rush and excitement of love and wedding planning, we often forget to closely examine the less exciting parts of life. Think about how long it can take to find an idea for a date that you and your Sagittarius man agree on, now multiply that by a million. There is no way to cover every conceivable situation, but there are several questions for you to answer together before committing to a lifetime with one another.
1. What, if anything, does he expect to change after you’re married and does it align with your ideas?
Today, couples marry from every possible circumstance. Some have been living together for years; others have been together for ages but have continued to keep separate households, while others may barely know one another. No matter what the circumstance, it’s good to know what you’re both expecting. Sit down with your Sagittarius and ask questions like:
- How will we combine our finances? Will, we each have our own money, will all earnings go into a shared account or some combination of the two?
- Regardless of how the money is divided, who is responsible for paying the bills and managing a budget? Do you share this responsibility?
- Are there responsibilities/expectations that a husband or wife should meet that are different from those of a boyfriend or girlfriend?
2. Are you on the same page when it comes to having and raising children?
If kids are the future for you and Mr. Sagittarius in any way, make sure you have an idea of how you both see that working. I’ve witnessed a situation where the husband assumed that his wife would quit her job when they had children, but that never occurred to the wife. When this came to light, they were expecting their first child, and it made the pregnancy a stressful and challenging time.
In addition to familial roles, often people overlook talking about what role religion should have in their child’s life. Don’t assume that you have the same ideas, especially if you come from different faiths or have a different level of piousness.
3. How important is the sexual aspect of your relationship to both you and your Sagittarius?
We’ve all heard the stories of the couple that gets married and, after some length of time, one partner just doesn’t want to have sex anymore. If this does happen, it can be for any number of reasons, but that’s a topic for another day.
This is devastating to a relationship, especially if one of you places a high value on your sexual connection and the other doesn’t. We’re not good at talking about sex in our culture, and we’re even worse about expressing our particular desires around sex. This means it is quite possible that two people are about to commit to one another for life without actually knowing how important sex is to the other person.
4. What do you both foresee about your roles in your respective families are time goes on?
From how close you live to your relatives to how much involvement you want them to have in raising your children, this can become a point of contention. Discuss how you expect to prioritize the family that the two of you are building and those you grew up with. If you’re both expecting to live close to your parents eventually, but yours live in Ohio while your Sagittarius’ family is in San Diego, there will be problems. Also, though it may seem to be a long way in the future, talk about what plans there may be to care for aging parents.
5. Does your Sagittarius actually love you and is he willing to put in the work that is necessary to maintain a healthy relationship with you for years to come?
Even the easiest of relationships is hard work. How have you two dealt with issues in the past? Are you able to talk about the issue and reach a consensus, or do you have many problems festering in the background that you both ignore? How do you think you would both react to one of your becoming permanently disabled? If the need arises, are you both open to couple’s counseling?
6. Are you both making the same commitment?
Marriage is our way of saying that two people are committed to living with and supporting one another through good and bad times. That is wonderful, but if you haven’t defined what “support” means then you could both be in for a surprise. Is one of you responsible for financially providing for the other? If so, would the loss of the ability to do so be a reason to end the marriage? Is his commitment to you also a commitment to your family, and vice versa? Do you agree to prioritize each other and your marriage above everything else, or not?
It is important to realize that disagreement on any of these topics does not mean that your partnership won’t work and that the answers to any and all of these questions will change as the year’s pass and you build your life together. However, if there are fundamental, or irreconcilable, differences in how you feel about a topic, it’s better to know now, so you’re both aware of that gap as your move forward. Then you can anticipate where some of the rough parts of your marriage may be, and navigate them with a bit more grace.
Are you ready to commit, but unsure if your Sagittarius is up to the task? Do you feel like he would be ready to marry you if he would just drop his fears and insecurities and pop the question? Do you worry that he might wait too long to propose and you’ll have to wait years before your big day and living happily ever after? If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, you face the same thing millions of women around the world face every day. Men are capable of committing, and while it may seem impossible at times, there is a way to get him to show you that he really is ready to love you forever. With this method, you’ll be able to help him realize his full potential and you’ll be able to have the life with him that you’ve always dreamed of. Don’t spend another moment waiting to see if he’ll put a ring on it, and help him make the first move here.
